Evidence 101

EVIDENCE 101...Wherever you go, there you are...

Tuesday, September 29, 2015

The Way of the Dog

Brilliant idea, she said. Go into the woods, she said. Trails. Challenging hills. Green, blue, and black. What fun, she said.

Perhaps one should look at the trail map before just diving into a thickly wooded trail system only to get lost for nearly three hours while trying to find oneself a way out. And not to mention the extra endurance needed to finish.

Was it a good workout?


Was I the only girl in the woods?


Did I use a mountain bike?

Nope. I used my feet.

Was it dark?

It was dusk and then it got dark. *shudder*

Were there creepy moments?

Yes. I'm pretty sure serial killers inhabited these woods at one time or another.

Was it beautiful?

No. It was magical AND beautiful.

Was I scared? What about the murderers and rapists?

No. I have God and ninja skills.

And when you come to a fork in the trail which one do you take if it isn't marked? "Well, Fargo," a voice boomed down from the heavens, "You follow the way of the dog."

Maybe this is the same concept as the horse to the barn thingy.

So I did. The dog led me out of the woods...eventually...three hours later...after it was done playing.

So yeah. It's not like the horse thingy.

By the way, deep in the woods...there are no landmarks I call mountains. I can't see the sun. It's just pretty green all over. Pretty much I am navigationally fucked.

But it was fun!

Monday, September 28, 2015

Rhymes With Duck Sh*t

My Facebook quote inspired by the spammish quizes sent around which then puts malware and spybots all over your computer...gave me this today as MY quote...

"Dance like nobody's watching. Love like you've never had a broken heart. Sing like nobody's listening and live like there's no tomorrow."


That is EXACTLY me. Weird.

Marketing software. It's kind of creepy.

I try to keep upbeat even though sometimes my life goes on a disaster train.

It's funny how I've met someone exactly like me in that fashion and is a copper. Two cops who ride the disaster train? Say it isn't so. I wish I could. However, I have meltdowns. I believe these started at a young age and advanced into adulthood.

Like me, his supervisor told him the same thing I was told once...that when things were not going the way I planned, I broke my crayons. Apparently, so does he. Maybe that's why we make such good fishing buddies. We both have crazy exes. He is wound tight as a cop just like I was.

That says a lot about someone's personality even if we all want to be in denial. Why do good people pick the wrong people to be with? Why do we wind ourselves up so much over things and things have to be "just so"? Why do we keep a balance of turmoil versus ordinary in their lives? I always thought that work was my dose of turmoil by dealing with crazies all day...then I got to go home to the ordinary. Kind of like a thrill ride. But that changed when my home life up and left me. Then I had husband number two. Whiskey-tango-foxtrot.

Now after being out of the copworld for almost THREE effing years, I have lost a lot of that anxiety and the feeling of being wound super tight, with an overachieving mind and ambition drive. Not that I still don't take on a lot, but I have mellowed out a little. I still don't relax over teenager issues. They set me off like crazy whores in a crackhouse. But I'm working on it. Baby steps.

Just like the saying up there says, I will do exact that. Why? Because that is just who I am...flying by the seat of my pants trying to experience everything in life before I become unable.

Who says I can't do something?


Well, for one...my Jiu-Jitsu instructor who just kicked me out of future classes because of my bad rotator cuff.

Well, that's just super. 

Poop Shit. There goes my MMA fighting days, Bitches.

Thursday, September 24, 2015

Jeremiah Was A Bully Frog

It's really hard to gauge which hardships in life shape us in a positive or negative direction. Did I get bullied? Sure. Did I bully people? Sure. I remember some of the incidents so I guess they stay with you in that respect. However, I think all of the events made me stronger or learned me a lesson.

Never in those dark moments or despair did I think life was over or become disconnected. I had a strong family structure and after short periods of time, those issues dissolved. Sometimes I changed my behavior because of them and sometimes I took it in stride. Many times I had my feelings hurt. But I got over it. And when I was the bully, I think I felt bursts of power or accomplishment that I squashed something or someone. That is unfortunate. People suck sometimes, but we are human and to be human is to err.

It's different through the looking glass as an adult. If your child is the brunt of the words, it really hits you in right the feelers.

This week has been difficult.

My relationship with my daughter in the teenager stage is a struggle. I am taming the beast inside me when she pushes my buttons by gritting my teeth and breathing big gulps of air before my ninja reflex skills send her to the next planet. It's really the first urge to curb back talking and sass. At least it's my first urge. It is my hot button.

Despite all that, she is a really good kid. She works hard in school and sports. She just sasses the mother which creates THE MOMSTER. It happens. I hate the conflict. NOT because I don't like conflict...but because teenagers should be respectful and when naught...I get fuming pissed. I don't like myself like that.

But...what's worse?

When your kid gets bullied and it hurts your heart. Like hits you right...there.

This week two incidents happened at school. She sat next to a girl in the cafeteria with her lunch and the girl and her friends left the table to sit elsewhere. Then, in the gym, she sat next to one of her friends and a group of girls left. Her friend told her they didn't like her because she is pretty and dresses nice. Well poop shit. How do you answer that?

My cute Bug

I told her she couldn't make people like her. I told her to be kind. I said she is beautiful and they are jealous. Wait until they meet THE MOMSTER. Not really. It just is my first instinct...protect your young. But I will not interfere in this one and let my daughter sort it out.

Bitches. Girls are mean.